New Places

I have been counting my blessings like crazy lately.  There is a song by Nichole Nordeman whose lyrics illustrate the picture of my heart in this moment.  “You are sunrise, you are blue skies, how would I know the morning if I knew not midnight?”  My midnight has been the emotional and spiritual state of my soul in the past few years.  It’s been a tough, long season for me.  I’ve gone through some pretty big changes, graduating college, new job, getting married, finding the Lord in a totally new way.  The thing is, I wouldn’t change it.  I wouldn’t go back and wish for indifference.  I wouldn’t want to be impassive or unblinking.  Every hard, lonely moment that I have endured brought me to the place where I needed to be to find the Lord, my Sunrise.  

Now here I am, at this beautiful place.  Beautiful, but also kind of scary for me.  Jesus has redeemed my life, so what now?  I’ve had this extraordinary experience of walking intimately with my Creator, where He has been patient with me, where He has encouraged me, where He has loved the hardest parts of my soul… I’ve discovered who He really is.  Even though I had to hit rock bottom emotionally, it was also so, SO good, because I finally found life.  I learned how to breathe again.  I’ve gotten to experience genuine joy and peace.  I don’t ever want to forget how it felt, and still feels, to just simply savor this sweet, sweet gift of faithful grace day in and day out.  But I know I can’t stay here forever.  

The Lord has been quietly urging my heart to new places.  And because I’m me, I’ve probably resisted for a little bit too long now.   The funny thing about loving the Lord is that He always knows the right people to bring into my life, He always knows the right messages to convict my heart, and He always knows how to wear down my soul just right so that I am raw before Him.  Where my only option is follow where He is leading me, because His way is so much better. 

I think He has been giving me glimpses of this journey with Him, that it will be ever changing, always transforming, but somehow He remains the same.  

“Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 

“For I am the Lord, I do not change; therefore you are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6